<<set $hrs = 11>><<set $mns = "00">><<set $giveup = "The sun rose over an hour ago. The shrill trilling carrying through the window is clearly a little bastard bird mocking your sleeplesness. Stupid boobs. ">>It's been a long day. You're dead tired and can't wait to get to sleep, and your slightly lumpy spring mattress has never quite seemed as inviting as it does now. You slip under the covers and...\n\n[[lay down on your back]]\n\n[[curl up on your side]]\n\n[[faceplant the pillow]]
<<silently>>\n<<if $mns eq "30">>\n <<set $hrs = $hrs + 1>>\n <<if $hrs gt 12>>\n <<set $hrs = 1>>\n <<endif>>\n <<set $mns = "00">>\n<<else>>\n <<set $mns = "30">>\n<<endif>>\n<<endsilently>>\n<<print $hrs>>:<<print $mns>><<if $hrs gt 9 && $hrs neq 12>>pm<<else>>am<<endif>>\n\n<<if $hrs eq 8>>\n<<print $giveup>>\n<<else>>You fold your arms under the pillow and left the soft cushion cradle your forehead. You begin this venture perfectly flat on your tummy, but one of your boobs has ended up askew and is pressing uncomfortably against your ribs. You execute a mattress-push-up, letting your cleavage hang loose and free like dual plum weights finding their balance, and then slowly lower down to the bed again, both boobs perfectly centered. Your OCD and ribs are spared further discomfort but now your nipples hurt by being the focus point of your distributed weight. This won't work. You...\n\n[[curl up on your side]]\n\n[[lay down on your back]]\n<<endif>>
<<silently>>\n<<if $mns eq "30">>\n <<set $hrs = $hrs + 1>>\n <<if $hrs gt 12>>\n <<set $hrs = 1>>\n <<endif>>\n <<set $mns = "00">>\n<<else>>\n <<set $mns = "30">>\n<<endif>>\n<<endsilently>>\n<<print $hrs>>:<<print $mns>><<if $hrs gt 9 && $hrs neq 12>>pm<<else>>am<<endif>>\n\n<<if $hrs eq 8>>\n<<print $giveup>>\n<<else>>You adopt the recovery position; one leg straight, other leg bent at the knee, one arm tucked under your head and the other at your side. It's stupendously comfortable for the amount of time it takes for enough blood to be denied entry to your lower arm by the sheer force of your bosom weighing down upon it to make your arm fall asleep. You move your arm further back so that it's behind your head instead of under it, and your boobs now mash up against the mattress uncomfortably. You could prop yourself up with your top arm to relieve the squishing of your lady-lumps, but who can sleep like that, really? Instead, you...\n\n[[faceplant the pillow]]\n\n[[lay down on your back]]\n<<endif>>
<<silently>>\n<<if $mns eq "30">>\n <<set $hrs = $hrs + 1>>\n <<if $hrs gt 12>>\n <<set $hrs = 1>>\n <<endif>>\n <<set $mns = "00">>\n<<else>>\n <<set $mns = "30">>\n<<endif>>\n<<endsilently>>\n<<print $hrs>>:<<print $mns>><<if $hrs gt 9 && $hrs neq 12>>pm<<else>>am<<endif>>\n\n<<if $hrs eq 8>>\n<<print $giveup>>\n<<else>>You lay down on your back. For a minute or two you're perfectly comfortable; your back stretched out, legs straight, arms either side, reminiscant of the wind-down at the end of a lovely Yoga session. As your muscles relax you become more aware of your posture, and realise that your formidable boobs - much to the contrary of how Skully's perfectly poised protrusions balanced magestically front-and-center as she lay in the uncomely hospital gown on the cold steel stretcher in many an episode of X-Files - are forced by gravity to lean back towards your chin while simultaneously flopping ungracefully to either side and generally making for some uncomfortable squished-skin-bits. You...\n\n[[curl up on your side]]\n\n[[faceplant the pillow]]\n<<endif>>